Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
