Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
