I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize