I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Come see our sink grown plant.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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