Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
