Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
