oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
