stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
