So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I looked at my own cervix.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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