You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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