ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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