Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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