Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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