Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
