For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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