have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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