ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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