I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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