is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
