How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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