How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
