Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
