i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
