And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
