i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
