I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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