Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
