i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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