I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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