The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
