I hate your face
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Someone came in the potted fern
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
