pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
