No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
