Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
