i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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