new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
