So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm sobbing to NWA
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
