I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
