unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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