You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
