bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
