So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
