Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
