My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
