Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
