Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
