Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
