I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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