Do you still have your period?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
