Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
