my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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