It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
