I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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