I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
