I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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