And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
