Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
