im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
